The Wounds of Love

Johhny Depp and Amber Heard

Johhny Depp and Amber Heard

Rarely do I get involved in big media stories, sensationalist cases, or political pantomimes. Why? Because mostly I feel mass media is rigged… behind the curtain, levers are being pulled and wheels are steered by political and media wizards… not to mention the enchantment that is Hollywood.

For the most part media consumers – us- are influenced (subconsciously) by trickery, illusion, psychology, subliminal messages… some may say this adds up to sophisticated social engineering.

In the past week or so though I have become interested in the Amber and Johnny case and confess to watching the televised courtroom drama.

When I look at this man and this woman, I do not see a victim and perpetrator- at least not of each other- I see two wounded people looking for what nearly everybody else is looking for- love. Much of the debate centres around which one of them is the real abuser; the most intimate details of their personal life spotlighted for the world to see.

How the outcome is determined will no doubt have an impact on our perceptions and beliefs around domestic violence (DV).

Is his alleged coercive and controlling behaviour less abusive that hers? She has admitted to “hitting” but not punching him- this was recorded on Mr. Depp’s phone. And what of the bottle incident- did he molest her, or did she assault him… how did he lose his fingertip?

What of the fake blood, the faecal matter, the missing money? It’s the stuff of Hollywood for sure.

But in the end does it matter. Is it not time we woke up to the grim reality that many, many people are in toxic and abusive relationships and that Amber and Johnny are not alone in their suffering? It’s just that their relationship is more public and there are external players who have vested interest in the outcome.

There is also a strong case to say that men and women fare differently within the social and legal systems… that’s all part of the set-up.

I can’t help feeling that Amber and Johnny are actors on a much larger stage more complex and insidious than we imagine.

The human race it seems are beset by unhealed trauma, emotional wounding, and injuries to the soul. Our need for love and the wounds of love makes us vulnerable to manipulation and coercion not necessarily from our significant other or our lovers but from an illusion of love that promises what it cannot deliver… because the root has not been tended.

We’ve heard it many times, it has become something of a new age mantra, that love begins within, and I believe that is true, but it is also through the other and our growing capacity to give and receive love that the roots are watered.

I am learning about love, and I forgive myself for the ways I was not able to give or receive love before. I also forgive others for this too.

Today as I walked around a store, the radio blared out one achy breaky heart song after another, many of these songs have been played on a loop for years… decades even. And the new ones, well, they don’t sound much different; the basic premise is always the same… love feels amazing until it hurts like hell.

We spend an awful lot of time and energy on matters of love… and mostly dysfunctional love. Why? Because so often we cannot face the truth of ourselves far less the truth of another… or even the truth of life.

Once the Disney shine of projection has faded, and after the surface layers have been penetrated, unprocessed trauma and attachment injuries are revealed, and we are left with the wounds of love.

What does it really mean to love and to be loved, and why do so many of us struggle to experience true and enduring love?

Today I found a quote by Publilius Syrus who said-

“The wounds of love can only be healed by the one who made them”.

Interesting though I am not sure I agree, for who made the wounds of love. Where did they originate? They did not begin with the heart broken by the lover… the wounds are deeper by far; they were there all along waiting to be unlocked and revealed by the lover.

Astrology is an excellent lens through which to view our soul’s blueprint and consider how we are affected by others, particularly in our intimate connections. The synastry chart points to the potential places and spaces we may experience in entering relationship with another soul, it speaks of possible sore points, conflicts, harmonies, longevity, uses and abuses. There are red flags and green lights… timing has a lot of influence too.

Of course, an astrology chart is a symbolic take, not the literal experience but when we accept that in working with archetypal energy and unconscious forces, we recognise that people we meet along the way are guiding us toward our Self, not necessarily through the happy ever after, sometimes it is through the fires of hell.

I am looking at the synastry chart of Amber and Johnny which is revealing many interesting aspects and signatures; I am writing more about that.

I am also writing about the full moon lunar eclipse in terms of relationship, the wounds of love, and the shifts I perceive are occurring. This is all part of a series of work on Eros & Psyche that I initiated a few months ago.

If you are interested in working with me, I offer astrology sessions including synastry charts where I can focus on the points above, or any other aspect of your chart. You are also welcome to join me for part 2 of the Eros & Psyche series, details to follow shortly.