Meetings with the Dark Goddess & Finding the Seeds of Renewal- an online course.

Meetings with the Dark Goddess

Collectively we are in the domain of the Dark Goddess, a liminal space between one state and another; behind the scenes a mystery is unfolding…we are in the birthing canal. It is a precarious time as we have not yet fully let go of the dissolving world or yet grasped the meaning of the new one. Astrologically this state can be likened to the 12th  house, the house of undoing before a new beginning emerges. In the lunar cycle it is the balsamic phase when everything is mulched down from the previous cycle providing fertile compost for the new to be born. It is the Phoenix rising from the ashes. States of transition however are not without danger. Folklorist Arnold Van Gennep describes the perils of transition within society thus,

A house with rooms and corridors in which passages from one to another is dangerous…. danger lies in transitional states, simply because transition is neither one state nor the next, it is undefinable…. the person who must pass from one to another is in danger and emanates danger to others…. the danger is precisely controlled by ritual which precisely separates [her] from [her] old status, segregates [her] for a time and then publicly declares [her] new entry to [her] new status”

Danger lies in the overwhelming and extraordinarily confusing glut of information, widening and fractious polarity, and above all perhaps in the social pressure to conform to an accepted reality that may be at odds with our inner truth. What if our voice sounds different even to loved ones and family? Our authentic voice may be rising up against not only societal injustice and pressure but also against the ways of being that have made us small, sick, victimised, or in any way diminished from who we truly are and what we are here to embody.

In these times we need containers, support,  ritual, and positive affectation. Once the lid comes off, what is revealed is sometimes a life time of playing small, of being fearful, shamed, or shrouded in false self-identity and beliefs about ourselves. And yes, maybe our psyches and our bodies have been damaged in systems that have not always supported life and healthy growth… much has been revealed to this end. I believe we can heal and make the transition a positive, affirming one in which we retain or claim our sovereignty.

Ritual and initiation may offer a connecting thread between the worlds, the inner and outer, the old and new. For the ancient Gnostics, ‘initiation worked to make initiates aware of their unconscious selves as a source of their greatest anxiety and their greatest power’. What have been, or are, your greatest anxieties during the pandemic, and how might they serve you now as a means of transformation and reclamation?

This is the time of the Dark Goddess, suppressed and exiled for millennia, she stirs beneath the Earth inviting us to meet Her, to face Her and to learn from Her wisdom but first we must make the descent into our own unconscious to illuminate what programmes, beliefs, wounding and rejected parts lay waiting to be brought home. She is the rage we feel at the injustices of the world, the terror and fear that paralyses us, and the quivering eruptions that explode when we are tired, stressed, diluted, or fragmented. She stands beside us now, willing us to talk truth, to utter the words from our wombs and release the tension of living in systems and circumstances that tether our soul and feminine essence. We are not victims however, we hold the key to our own liberation, and the Dark Goddess is the ultimate Wayshower. She appears to us in dreams, in our creativity, our sexuality, our bodies, our sickness, our darkness,  our “Enough!”;  She exists in the spaces in between, in the irrational, the liminal, in our rages and passions and the moments of silence. She is the language of the Soul; She speaks in symbols and intuitions. She is the ultimate Liberator; She appears to us as Lilith, Inanna, Ishtar, Hecate, Persephone, Demeter, and the Black Madonna. She dances through the veils.

This course does not provide a platform for political discourse, nor is it able to hold therapeutic space for individual women beyond the possibilities of group sharing. It is a course for women who would like to work with other women in a safe and respectful group exploring what it means to reclaim themselves in a time of change. The course invites the symbolic and mythic worlds as an imaginal aid to help see the bigger picture both personally and collectively. It is for women who are largely unsatisfied with the current narrative and who are therefore seeking a new way forward even while that may necessitate major change in their lives.

Personal astrology and therapeutic sessions may be arranged in addition to the course.

We begin our journey with the Descent of Ishtar, exploring the rich symbolism contained within this myth.

This is a 7-week course, open to all women who would like to be supported through this time as we cross the threshold. The course may also be beneficial for women who are experiencing personal change such as menopause, pregnancy, career change, death of a loved one, or a major new life circumstance.

The cost of the 7 weeks  is £105 (if paid before 1st August); Thereafter it’s £126.

The group will be limited to 13 participants to ensure a level of intimacy, safety & support.

I am a qualified counsellor/shamanic councillor, a professional astrologer and shamanic practitioner. I hold an MA in Myth, Cosmology & the Sacred.

Please contact me for ffi about payment and booking.

The Great Conjuction: On becoming your own liberation executive

Painting by Dennis Potokar

On Tuesday 14 December, a total solar eclipse in Sagittarius happened just days before Saturn entered Aquarius, followed by Jupiter on December 21, heralding the ‘Great Conjunction’ and the dawn of a new age. In this blog I share a few insights based on my personal experience and intuition around these collective shifts.

On the threshold between old and new we are not merely passive observers in unfolding events, we are, or at least can be, conscious participants and creators. Perhaps the most important issue at stake during this shift concerns the essence of our personal freedom and in this way the Great Conjunction may be viewed as the marriage between our spiritual and material selves and an opportunity to fully incarnate spirit into the material world. Uranus- the ruler of Aquarius- points to what spiritual evolutions may occur while Saturn offers the potential to develop strong structures to contain these higher, yet more intense frequencies, and Jupiter offers expansion.

Insights at the new moon eclipse, for me, were personal in nature and had to do with navigating my way though the trauma of a relationship breakup at the start of the covid pandemic and lockdown. It seemed that I oscillated between two states of consciousness, or even dimensions (old paradigm/new paradigm) in terms of how I processed and understood the trauma. I recognised the experience as being part of an old story spanning back into the timeline of my soul’s journey. The eclipse happened on the south node which has to do with the past, including past lives, and so it was not surprising that old unresolved issues surfaced. As I stayed in the descent I moved between personal pain, outrage, and grief, through to a vastly more expanded awareness in which I was knew that on some level I had chosen all of these experiences with the intention to be broken open, to be transformed and liberated from the mental prisons and outmoded beliefs that restrained me. Eclipses are times of accelerated growth lasting well beyond the moment. The whole of this lunar cycle offers a chance to journey into our past and gain awareness of the dymanics that still influence and control us.

Yesterday’s experience in the lead up to the solstice and the conjunction was again a powerful opening and for many hours I was dissolved in tears as I surrendered to what wanted to moved through me and be brought to light, dissolving old stuctures in its wake.

This morning I had the following insight about the Saturn Jupiter conjunction happening in Aquarius and realised that it was not too dissimilar to my personal revelations as both insights essentially showed the possibility of transformation through trauma.

Aquarius is ruled by Uranus and is known as the ‘great liberator’. It is an outer, transpersonal planet with a vibrational force akin to lightning, electricity, or kundalini- awakening. Being transpersonal, it is less concerned with the daily minutiae of our individual lives and more involved with the spiritual evolution of humanity as a collective. Because of this it can feel shocking and chaotic to our individual personhood. As the modern ruler of Aquarius and the 11th house, Uranus is linked with collective patterns of evolution… some say the age of Aquarius is the death of the individual. But how does the individual fare in this disruptive interpersonal and impersonal energy? As someone who has Uranus conjunct my moon Natally, Venus and north node in Aquarius, and Saturn in the 11th house, I am no stranger to bursts of Uranian energy, particularly on an emotional level-  hence the reason I get blasted every once in a while. The blasting always feels like a cleansing and a reset no matter how severe the disruption may have been. But here’s where Saturn comes in – I realised that with even more exposure to Uranian energy – now in the mental spheres and collective ripples of Aquarius – I saw the need to create stronger containers to allow this force to move through me. The more sensitive among us, and people with strong Uranian or outer planet signatures in their chart are at risk of being fried in these powerful transformative energies and need strong emotional and mental boundaries – they need a strong inner father figure, a strong Saturn.

One way we may become fragmented is by pixilation through over exposure to the virtual and AI worlds. Uranus rules the internet and technology, and who, especially during 2020 has not been increasingly sucked into and perhaps even merged with the machine?  This is after all the age of the machine. Saturn, like a good father, sometimes strict but always loving can impose conditions and restrictions designed to protect us from fragmentation, formlessness, and disintegration. Saturn says, “here are the parameters in which you can operate” and if Saturn is to be trusted and made friends with, one will eventually see that libertaion comes from discipline, form, structure, and being embodied in the world of matter- weaving body and spirit together. The danger is that Saturn may have become too rigid or we may have internalised an outmoded societal image of Saturn.

If we do not take responsibility for ourselves or learn to work with Saturn in our own lives we may too easily outsource it to someone who embodies the masculine principle or else the collective father which is currently a patriarchal model.

The collective father, the authorities of the dominant culture, may claim control on a mass scale by imposing systems and strategies that gain compliance through a mix of fear and uncertainty, as well as care.  The question on the table now however is what is the true cost of surrendering one’s personal will to the dictates of a father/god figure who seems on the one hand to offer refuge while at the same time insists on ever tighter restrictions and control? The new pandemic gods show little mercy for the voice of dissent and while I suspect the light bearer is waiting in the wings to offer humanity a Promethean- like liberation the question we must also ask is what is true liberation and what is only set up to appear as such?

This is the crossroads at which we stand at the dawning of the age of Aquarius: either we claim personal autonomy and responsibility for our choices and actions even while they challenge social sanctions and laws, or we renounce our right to choose from our higher self-will, personal rationale, and intuition… unless of course our personal will is entirely aligned with the values of authority. The decisions we make now will shape and influence the unfolding of the new age. Will it be a time when the positive aspects of Aquarius evolves through increasing social responsibility, collective power, and right use of information and technology, or will social freedom, imagination, and spiritual empowerment be monitored and engineered to create a compliant society ruled by technocratic governments and increasingly machine-like consciousness?

We are not puppets and pawns on this trajectory, and in spite of cultural dogma that presents a picture of obligatory compliance, we do have agency. The best of Uranian energy is expanded consciousness and spiritual evolution, the danger is that we get lost in its vastness. The antidote is developing a strong relationship with our personal Saturn/father and assuming responsibility for ourselves rather than sacrificing our autonomy.

On 14th December, on the solar total eclipse, Saturn was at the last degree of Capricorn before entering Aquarius. The sabian symbol for 30 degrees Capricorn is-

A Secret meeting of men responsible for executive decisions in world affairs.

It is also worth noting that Saturn first went into this degree of Tuesday 8th December which was the official launch of the Pfizer vaccine. The anaretic degree- the last degree- of a zodiacal sign conveys a sense of completion, a point of no return, and that certainly seems to be the case regarding the vaccination- but that is only at the level of society, we must not be duped into thinking that we have lost our rights as autonomous beings or the ability to choose and to take responsibility for our own decisions.

The threshold upon which we stand offers a rare and precious opportunity, and if we acknowledge that we have choice and consciously connect with a spiritual agency however that manifests for us, we get the chance to become creators of the new age instead of pawns.

The Great Conjunction may ultimately be involved with reinstating a spiritualised masculine principle in a world that has largely been despiritualised and emasculated.

Freeing Lilith

February’s new moon occurring on Sunday 23 February at 15.32 GMT has the potential to unlock the door to hidden, repressed or exiled parts of our individual psyche, and in the collective unconscious.

Our banished parts will not lay dormant or be silenced forever and in spite of our best efforts to repress them, like hardy weeds, eventually they poke up through the concrete, straining toward the life-giving properties of the sun (consciousness). And while the weed killers on offer in our current culture may be strong and seductive, they can never fully eclipse the soul’s desire for wholeness.

While the banished parts of us demand to be acknowledged and integrated, like a good family constellation everything and everyone must be included in the bigger picture- for the story is only half told without all the factors.

But we keep trying to lock up the more problematic parts of ourselves in the basement, to not talk about them, to destroy the evidence and use any number of tactics to stay in control. Often the ego will stop at nothing to this end. This is not possible with Lilith. She refuses to collude with any subterfuge of ours, or anybody else’s making. She systematically closes off all avenues that lead to the false self. She persistently shows us the pathways to authenticity even while it hurts and at times it may feel that we are becoming lost in the wilderness. And even while old memories from past lives burn brightly in our unconscious, still she insists on our liberation from any form of imprisonment.

This process is happening on an individual level but it is also happening in the collective, and this new moon offers extra facilitation if we are willing to get real with ourselves.

Freeing Lilith is an inside job, no one is going to give us permission.

Here are the new moon aspects:

Chiron at 3 Aries conjunct Black Moon Lilith (true) at 1 Aries

Dark Moon Lilith at 22 Capricorn conjunct Pluto at 24 Capricorn

What do you get when you cross Lilith with Pluto and Chiron? Deep transformational healing and a chance to own our rejected parts.

In astrology charts I think of the triple placements of Lilith as one process with three stages

  1. Asteroid Lilith is the only physical body of Lilith. I feel it represents our original feminine essence before the abandoned parts of ourselves that were deemed unacceptable were sent into exile. Note this is often where we are powerful and therefore threatening.
  2. Dark Moon Lilith or Waldemath is the expression of the exiled and rejected parts  now split off from our core self and acting out in destructive and unintegrated ‘Lilith-like’ ways. Depending on where we have that point in our chart will describe the ways we are likely to act out or be projected on (it is also the place where we may be scapegoated by others- or asked to carry the collective shadow). In all likelihood we are already acting out that shadow through our own unconscious wounding and defensive behaviour. Dark Moon Lilith in our lives can manifest in many ways such as angry, cold, bitchy, promiscuous, self-destructive, violent, addictive, chaotic, unstable. The danger here is being trapped in a perpetual expression of a destructive and unintegrated Lilith so that we come to believe that is who we are or that we are irreparably damaged.
  3. Black Moon Lilith is the point of redemption and healing through which we may heal our Lilith wound and reclaim the exiled parts of ourselves. This is a deeply visceral process in which we literally release trapped or frozen aspects of our psyche and reintegrate them into the wholeness of our being. It is not that we return to our original feminine essence, it is more that we experience a renaissance of feminine consciousness based on the Lilith journey that have taken. This is nothing short of a rebirth of the divine feminine.

Black Moon Lilith conjunct Chiron in Aries-

This placement can facilitate deep soul healing. Chiron is the wounded healer while Lilith is the exiled and repressed parts of ourselves that need to be brought back into consciousness by releasing blocked and repressed energy stuck in our tissue, cells and psyche. Both Chiron and Black Moon Lilith operate on the level of instinct.

During this conjunction it is a good time to find the methods, modalities and people who have the know-how, wisdom, or vibration that can help us release stagnant energy. Body work, cranio- sacral therapy, breathwork and any other modality that works with the body/mind connection is good, as is shamanic practices such as soul retrieval.

Given that this placement in Aries methods that are dynamic and work on the level of instinctual awareness and/or the active principle is going to be effective. Energetic dancing, shaking, trance dance, any of these practices are beneficial at this time.

Dark Moon Lilith Conjunct Pluto in Capricorn-

To heal our Dark Moon Lilith we first of all have to become aware of Her. Looking at the inner demoness is not always easy and sometimes we just plain refuse to see Her. But here’s a clue… if other people are projecting something of this dark feminine vibe onto you, you can be sure you carry a corresponding wound. The tricky thing about Dark Moon Lilith is that because we have been wounded, we often feel our behaviour is justified in protecting ourselves form further wounding. Ultimately though this is self-sabotaging because not only does it harm those around us, it also cuts off our potential for fulfilling, healthy and intimate relationships. This only serves to reinforce our feelings of rejection and alienation. Dark Moon Lilith has a resonance with Medusa, the serpent headed gorgon who has the anti-gift of turning others to stone just by her gaze.

With Pluto and DML we may be taken right down into the depths of our soul to understand what has happened and why we are so hurt. Lord of the underworld- the great transformer- can shine a light on even the darkest recesses if we are willing to make the descent and face our demons.

Dream journaling, art, automatic writing are all good tools to connect with the unconscious this dark moon- and any dark moon time.

Individually our soul is pulling down the veil while collectively we are being asked to challenge the safe illusions that we have created in order to protect ourselves from the painful truth of our behaviours.

Together, Lilith, Chiron and Pluto offer a hand in leading us to painful but ultimately redemptive places.