Chariklo’s Love: Healing the Pain of “I Am”

1-take-a-bow-yolanda-holmon

Painting- I take a Bow by Yolanda Holman

A big part of Chiron’s medicine and particularly when Chiron is in Aries is the healing of the Self. Aries boldly proclaims, “I AM!” while Chiron points to our deepest wounds- Chiron in Aries therefore indicates a wound to the Self on a core level. In this case the Chirotic journey is about healing through claiming, or reclaiming of the Self.

Chiron wounds are of a particular quality, they seem to permeate the body and seep into our mind becoming etched in our soul as distorted identity signatures. In working with the Centaurs there is often a thread of ancestral pain weaving through the generations and like puppets on a string it can feel like forces beyond our grasp are controlling our lives. This is a deep programming that needs to be excavated and released before we are finally free from the past. The Chiron return is an initiation that facilitates this process if we are open to it.

Collectively too there is trauma-based conditioning that affects whole generations of people… what will be the long-term effect of children born in the current Chiron in Aries group? The last Chiron in Aries group, particularly in the US, were born into a society in the grip of an increasingly brutal and shadowy war, racial violence and protests, and covert government social experiments. These psychic legacies infiltrate the collective consciousness shaping our societies and form the matrices that influence, either positively or negatively, our shared reality.

The pain of reclaiming the Self is the pain of “I Am”.

Recently a Chiron in Aries woman referred to herself as “Marmite”, and I knew exactly what she meant… not everybody loves her, and yet, she, like many of us are finding a way through the pain of “I AM” and learning to stand proudly in who we are regardless of whether we are liked, accepted, or approved of.  No matter how strong the individual, wounds of rejection run deep in our human need to belong; to leave the comfort and acceptance of the tribe and set out on the hero’s or heroine’s journey is no small undertaking. To see it through is a great achievement, it is the liberation symbolised in the Grail mythology… the Grail being the sacred vessel of the Self.

When it comes to reclaiming the Self we are essentially alone in our quest as we strive to release the heavy baggage of shame, guilt, not being good enough, being wrong, bad, faulty, less than, unworthy, mad, as well as many other denizens of self-loathing and sabotage.

The keys of Chiron can birth us into being our own loving parents who may have been sadly absent; the unconditional lover who never showed up because we were busy sending a message to the world that we are undeserving and unlovable. In the highest expression of Chiron’s initiation we become our own beloved loving ourselves unconditionally, recognising and cherishing our sacred divine essence.

From this state of grace no one can dislodge us from our seat of power.

This magical transformation is seen in the myth of Chiron specifically through the unconditional love and devotion offered by his wife Chariklo. If we accept Chariklo as an archetype existing on the inner planes and not an outside influence (although she can be), she is a symbol of the unconditional love that we finally uncover in ourselves.

Originally a naiad or water nymph, Chariklo shapeshifted into a Centaur so that she could become one with Chiron. For Chiron, this gesture of devotion is utterly healing and transmutes the initial wound of rejection by his mother.

In his book on Chiron, Zane Stein says,

Here was a woman who not only accepted his centaurean form, totally, completely and without judgment, but actually saw him as beautiful and willingly took his form herself so that she could be close to him. How could he not love her back with all of his being? And his unconditional love was the beginning of his healing, from that first deep wound of his mother’s rejection.

When go through the sometimes-excruciating pain of “I Am” and learn to love ourselves unconditionally, we activate our inner Chariklo. Of course it is wonderful if another person sees and loves us so deeply, but the true marriage is within. It is only by discovering union with ourselves on the deepest level that we can accept an outer union of the same depth.

The fact that Chiron is able to transmute the poison of rejection through Chariklo’s love speaks of our journey to wholeness when we finally realise that all the shame and self-loathing we have been carrying was a projection from the outside, and sadly often from our families of origin and communities. Chariklo’s love is the panacea needed to discover that the greatest love of all is found in the exquisite healing relationship with ourselves.

The Chiron return at around age 50 is the threshold over which we can begin the journey of self-reclamation. The Chariklo return at age 63 is in its highest expression an opportunity to radiate our love from a sphere of wholeness that is neither weakened or diminished by sharing our unique gift with others.

Are you part of the Chiron in Aries group born between April 1968 -April 1977?

If so, perhaps you would like to join me on a seven-week odyssey with a band of fellow travellers exploring the myth of Chiron and discovering how he operates in your life… and asking the question: what does it mean to experience the Chiron return during these times?

Chiron in Aries: Reclaiming the Self in a Time of Awakening begins on the Aries new moon on April 12, 2021 through to May 24th.

You can send me a message if you’d like to find out more, or if you would like a Chiron/Chariklo focused astrology reading.