A Woman’s Way: Reintegrating the Lost feminine.

The Virgin and Child with Saint Anne and Saint John the Baptist by Leonardo da Vinci.

The Virgin and Child with Saint Anne and Saint John the Baptist by Leonardo da Vinci.

“One must stay close to feeling to know what one should do in this matter of having or not having children”.

~ Marie-Louise von Franz, A Woman’s Way.

The first time I realised that I was the last female in my matrilineal line I was in a room with a few other woman- dream lodge friends- who for the most part were in the same position. I was not the only one to have this realisation for the first time and the room fell silent for a time as each woman considered the emotional impact of that recognition.

That was in 2016, quite late in my life, although technically I could still have become a mother. I remember one of the first astrology readings I received in my early thirties when the astrologer told me that he did not rule out motherhood for me until around forty-seven. I was shocked, I could not imagine becoming a mother at forty-seven. I never became one at all.

Since that evening in Canterbury sitting with the other non- mothers reflecting of the meaning of that in our lives, I have thought a lot about why I did not have children. I have never felt sad or distressed about it; on a deep level I knew that it was not my role in this lifetime to be a mother. That is not to say there were not moments when I thought it would have been amazing to be a mother… and there were losses, but somehow my calling lay elsewhere.

In my astrology practice I work with women who are mothers and have deeply adored the experience; women who are mothers and not without some guilt have admitted they did not enjoy the experience; women who have regretted having children, and women who have regretted not having children. In these sessions we inevitably look at the mother-line to explore our own experience of being mothered; often the same patterns are repeated, or else there is a fracture down the line.

Women who feel they were unmothered sometimes endure a lot of soul questing on their journey to heal the emotional wounds of this abandonment, perceived or actual. Something else I have found is that it can be the case that women who do not continue the matrilineal line are in fact clearing the line, they are lineage bearers and lineage healers. In this case it is the end of the line for a particular cycle of trauma… though sometimes not without much personal cost.

Astrology has helped to me to connect with my own mother-line and has cultivated a deep sense of compassion in what has been a painful and traumatic relationship with my own mother… and her mother before her. Pholus and the centaurs in a chart can help to flesh out the story.

Getting to know my astrology has also imbued me with a sense of purpose as I realise that I am here for a reason other than mothering.Working with the asteroid goddesses provides psychological insight in grasping the journey of the soul as it relates to feminine patterns of consciousness and archetypes… there are many wonderful masculine archetypes/asteroids to help expand masculine consciousness and experience too.

The tradition planets reveal a huge amount of insight and information however working with the asteroids facilitate a reintegration of many of the feminine aspects and expressions that have been lost, repressed, curtailed, or otherwise marginalised and outright abandoned.

I see this time as a calling back of all the different expressions of the feminine. Women are wives, consorts, lovers, mothers, scholars, and CEO’s… and they are also medicine women, healers, holy women, sages, leaders, visionaries, warriors, tricksters, masters, sacred sexual priestesses, initiators, creatrixes, funerary priestesses, spirit doulas, and dream temple oracles to name a few.

Sometimes women who have taken on their ancestral karma and lineage clearing are just exhausted and need time to recover and regenerate. This may be especially so if the descent into the trauma of the line has resulted in illness caused by emotional or mental imbalances, or spiritual malaise.

There are many ways to birth and there are many ways to mother.

If you would like to explore this theme in your life, I am available for astrology session to explore how the feminine archetypes move in you and identify the ones that may be calling you toward a life that you have not yet seen.

Full Moon Magic- Magdalene Speaks.

Image- Me on pilgrimage in the Crypt of Abbaye Sainte-Marie-Madeleine de Vézelay where relics of Saint Mary Magdalene are housed.

Image- Me on pilgrimage in the crypt of Abbaye Sainte-Marie-Madeleine de Vézelay where relics of Saint Mary Magdalene are allegedly housed.

Teachings for our time- Magdalene as a bio mystical experience that opens the door to both receiving and transmitting information through the subtle bodies, or in other words, as a connector of the human and divine.

At a time when our physical bodies are potentially compromised by so many interferences, Magdalene- or the vibrational manifestation of Magdalene- encourages us to protect our physical body and build our light body (Merkabah) so that we do not become disconnected from Source.

She reminds us of the gnostic teachings- that the Kingdom of God is within.

At the point of the full moon asteroid Magdalena is conjunct the Galactic Centre at 26 ° Sagittarius. Symbolically, this could be seen as a time when Magdalene’s emanation is strong and available to the human sphere.

For the Maya, the Galactic Centre was the supreme godhead and ultimate creator which they named “Hunab Ku;” for them it was a portal to other galaxies and the consciousness that organizes all matter from a whirling disk into stars, planets, and solar systems. Burst of energy from the Galactic Centre- the cosmic womb- is the portal through which the creator orchestrates the unfolding of our galaxy.

As Mistress of the Waters, Magdalene offers a regenerative and restorative balm for the human soul.

Whether you believe Her to be one woman from the life of Jesus of Nazareth or representative of the priestess archetype, or indeed an archetype at the core of every human being, The Magdalene is calling us to wake up and claim our human divine nature.

Through the portal of her womb- the Holy Vessel- the vas uterus- she leads us to the eternal spring (or grail) by strengthening our connection to Spirit. Through her sacred oils, holy blood, and gnosis of the human body as Temple of the Soul, She awakens us to gnostic revelation- unmediated knowledge and direct experience of god.

Through sacred feminine gnosis- now mostly lost and suppressed along with other gnostic and “heretical” teachings- Magdalene offers the promise of liberation through awakening us into our true nature. As protectress of the lost teachings She points to where they may be found.

If Christ the Son is pointing to God the Father, Magdalene is pointing to Sophia, the Holy One within.

Magdalene’s Feast day is celebrated on July 22.

The Black Madonna of Czestochowa

Black Madonn
I found this little plaque of the Black Madonna of Czestochowa, at a car boot in 2002, or 2003. She was my first meeting with the Dark Goddess, shining gold and bright across and otherwise ordinary scene. She has been with me ever since in many different places, on many alters. At first, I didn’t know why I felt such a strong affinity with Her, it was more of a felt, inner, sense of something both profoundly mysterious and yet also tangible and available… something that contained a truth, one which I had faith would be revealed step by step.
Increasingly I feel more rooted in Her wisdom (and my body), and as I stand yet again on another life threshold, She steps forward once again.
We all stand on a threshold now.
She does not look happy and that makes some people uncomfortable, I can see why, She’s not your typical new age goddess, not vibrant and alive, not sexy, and apparently not powerful, but that’s just it, Her power is a hidden power, it’s not just for the taking (or the buying), there are stages, lessons, initiations, breakdowns, break throughs, rages, brokenness, separation, grief, death… and She is asking us to feel it all because until we do, we are too easily seduced by the superficial comforts of the world, the niceties, the civility, the order, the control… but things are not as they seem, behind the veils things look quite different. She invites us to take a look; we can only take so much at a time. There are times though when we need to see more… now is one of those times.
As I stand on a personal and a collective threshold I am called to step in, to follow Her through the flames. And if you feel called, I invite you to join me in a 7 week exploration- Meetings With the Dark Goddess: Finding the Seeds of Renewal- find out more here-