Leo Reflections- New Moon- 28th July, 2022

La forza (the force”) by Boris Indrikov

La forza (the force”) by Boris Indrikov

At times I am despondent, isolated, alone, feeling as though I cannot connect, that I am misunderstood. I knew this would not be easy this “standing up to be counted” (I’ve got a Chiron Mars thing going on).

Sometimes, I see and feel things and I want to take a position of authority, as though I know, and that my truth is right- so strongly do I feel this truth in my soul.

I see a new world emerging, a ‘brave new world’, but I also see beneath the surface of things- it is both a blessing and a curse. I say what I see and feel and yet I am also humble enough to know that what I see and feel comes through me, through my soul, and maybe it is my role- or one of them- to speak what comes through me or maybe I am deluded and have much to learn. At any rate I am a vibrational manifestation as every other person is too and If I can accept that in myself without judgment (which is not easy) then I can also accept it in others even if I do not agree with them or like their vibration; even if I see and feel that they are headed down a path I myself have chosen to avoid (or so I think).

I do not embrace our journey into AI, our entrenchment deeper into materialism while flying the flag of spiritualism, or bio- chemical manipulation and sometimes I want to call out… “welcome to your false awakening, humans”. I can see that we are careering down a path of greater dependency on technology, on the need to make money, to be a name, to be bright and shiny, to be healed and fixed from the weight and burden of the human condition (to bypass). I see that and yet I could only ever criticize another soul if I thought I alone could see the full picture, that I had the privilege of knowing the whole story, but I know that is not the case, I am one of billions of souls currently incarnate on this planet- I seek to find my most authentic self for better or worse. I try to stick with it even though I don’t always appear the successful one, or the bright shiny healed one. But this is what I can do, it is what I have right now.

Yes, I believe I can see behind the veil at times but like the grail the veil is different for everyone and that is because we are each on our own soul odyssey, all at different stages of our evolution just like the Earth herself… and maybe the gods too.

I study the mysteries, but I do not know the mystery and mainly I am just trying to unravel the mystery of myself.

What is the point of this post? My point is that you can never know the soul of another person, heck, it is likely you barely know your own. I am no authority, none of us are, so live let and let live. If we are affected by the vibration or expression of another person, it is to reflect something back at ourselves.

That said, speak out what you see, share your journey if you are called to but don’t expect anything in return… though I personally applaud anyone who does step out of the box and show themselves. It seems clear to me that when we do that we sometimes -and if we are lucky often – move something in others whether that is triggering or inspiring- either way it shifts things, and this is a time of great shifts.

We’re all just doing and being what we know how with what we’ve got in this moment. The bigger picture is still unravelling and may or may not ever be known.

Maybe self sovereignty is simply taking responsibility for who we are in each moment.

New Moon in Leo: Sex- where the darkness (and light) enter.

A blog in two parts.

Image of the author- "chiaroscuro"

Image of the author- “chiaroscuro”

New Moon- Thursday 28th July 2022, 6.55 pm BST

The title of this blog comes from a dream I had where I heard the words “sex is where the darkness gets in.” In my journey with my own sexuality, sexual wounding, and sexual healing I know this to be true. I also know that sex is where the light gets in. The need to understand this paradox is a crucial factor in our human evolution.

This new lunar cycle is inviting us deeper into the mystery of sex and reproduction.

Healing takes place in the heart centre where the forces from above blend with the forces from below uniting our animal and divine nature. In astrology Leo is the heart of the zodiac and the seat of the Sun- our consciousness. Leo is also where we rise in our regal or crowned expression and where we become sovereign of our own domain.

At the point of the new lunar cycle the Sun and Moon are at 5 °Leo.

The invitation is to come into our heart and consider our sexuality, masculine feminine intimate partnership relationships, archetypal masculine and feminine expressions in our culture.

These reflections are based on two points of the new moon chart which I will write about in two parts. One is a Venus, Lilith, Hades stellium in Moon ruled Cancer, and the other focuses on a Mars, North Node, Kaali, Uranus stellium in Venus ruled Taurus.

The data-

Venus 12’55 Cancer- Hades 11’49 Cancer- Lilith (true) 13’36 Cancer- Lilith (mean) 8’11 Cancer.

Mars 15’57 Taurus- NN 18’28 Taurus- Uranus 18’37 Taurus- Kaali 17’ 8 Taurus.

Venus, Lilith, and Hades in Cancer opens a portal that is neither easy nor desirable to look at. Hades is a hypothetical planet referred to as a trans-Neptunian point in Uranian astrology. To know Hades is to know death.

In Greek mythology Hades rules the underworld, he was also known as ‘Plouton’, the Romans pluralized it to Pluton/Pluto which means giver of wealth. In terms of our soul journey the wealth is an enrichment and freeing of the soul in bondage to the material world.

The symbol for Hades is a crescent moon with a cross inside it suggestive of the emotional wounds and weighty issues concerning the interface of the material and spiritual worlds, representing our cross to bear. Although depicted as male, in earlier mythology Hades was associated with the goddess and her transformative powers of death and renewal. The serpent or the dragon became a symbol of the transformative feminine energy of the Moon and harkens back to a time before the patriarchal takeover of the goddess. An example of this can be seen in the myth of the python under the temple at Delphi, placed by Gaia to protect the sacred oracle before Apollo co-opted the site.

Hades Symbol

Hades Symbol

The Moon is a symbol of transformation and is connected to our feeling and emotional bodies.

Unresolved trauma or unacknowledged experiences that have affected us and operate in our unconscious show up in our physical and energetic bodies as blockages and distortions often leading to disease. The Hades journey then is one where we make a descent in order to illuminate and ultimately free what is trapped there. 

In the new moon chart, Hades is with Venus and Lilith (mean and true); both Venus and Lilith are connected to female sexuality. Arising from the centre of the feminine blueprint or mandala is Venus Aphrodite, core essence of the feminine nature in her manifest form. According to Demetra George, Venus is the primary potential of fertilization and transformation symbolized as cyclical possibilities in the moon as an activated and vital force. Because she is the source of reproductive energy Empedocles calls her the giver of life. She is the first manifestation of lunar energy.

This new moon is an invitation to consider reproduction and fertility and reflect on our current attitudes to female (and male) sexuality; to consider how the waters of life in the birth canal are flowing -or not- in our individual and collective story.

Some of us feel that we- along with the whole of humanity- are undergoing a rebirth; it goes without saying that birth is a crucial time, a time to stay as present as possible and try to see the whole picture even while so much of the process happens internally.

Venus is also the magnetic force that activates sexual energy.

Our use of sexual energy and sexuality in our culture now and far back into the past has become distorted and vulnerable to manipulation… “sex is where the darkness enters.”

So often we are raised in environments where we are cut off from the root of our sexual essence thus becoming unconscious to its precious and subtle vibration, our sexual power, and correct use of sexual energy. Pornography, over sexualisation, rape culture, institutionalised abuse, alongside the commodification of sexuality, sexuality as a weapon, and no real education or awareness as to the true nature and energetic purpose of our sexuality has led to sexual distortion and corruption.

Enter Lilith, the other archetype in the new moon triune alongside Venus and Hades. In the myth of Lilith which I have written about previously, we see the unacceptable face of the feminine being banished, exiled, demonised and punished. A journey to Hades to see what lies beneath this entrenched fear of the feminine is an invitation of this lunar cycle.

Distortion of sexuality leading to emotional wounding for both men and women, create energetic blockages in the system in the human matrix. We have been living with the consequences of this for a very long time; we have skirted around the edges but somehow, we have become blindsided to the truth of our sexuality and how it has been used against us.

Beneath the veil of the silver screen and the Neptunian illusions of sexual freedom, allure, and desire, there are untold, unknown, stories hidden in the dankest corners of Hades replayed throughout time in the lives of semi or unconscious souls lost to societal conditioning and priming.

As I write this I think of the allegory of Plato’s cave where a population of sleeping citizens are held in an underworld not realising that anything lies beyond. Because they do not know they are trapped they do not feel the need for freedom or personal liberation.

The sabian symbol for the Sun/Moon point is-

PHASE 126 (LEO 6°): A CONSERVATIVE, OLD-FASHIONED LADY IS CONFRONTED BY A “HIPPIE” GIRL.

KEYNOTE: The need to transcend our subservience to fashion, in morals as well as in clothes.

We are dealing now with cultural values and the emotional impact they have upon our character formation… the sixth degree refers to a collective, cultural, and social crisis which challenges us to realize THE RELATIVITY OF SOCIAL VALUES.

The war on sexuality and reproduction, particularly female sexuality and reproduction continues on the societal, emotional, economic, and astral battlefields. From abortion rights; menstrual suppression; epidemic proportion of reproductive pathology; sexual violence & humiliation; a legal system that does not protect; and economic systems that entrap, it is clear we have a long way to go in the plight for true sexual and reproductive liberation or in other words to claim these things as our own.

Referring back to the sabian symbol: A CONSERVATIVE, OLD-FASHIONED LADY IS CONFRONTED BY A “HIPPIE” GIRL, is suggestive of the sexual revolution of the 1960’s where free love paved the way for widespread availability of the pill and made abortion legally available under the Abortion Act of 1967, coming into effect in April 1968.

Was it really freedom?

The desire to shake off the oppressive shackles of a conservative morality that seemed to hamper individual freedom of expression and choice likely came from an innocent place- the individual and collective soul seeking to evolve and experience more of life. In reality, as with many things that are presented in this way, what we see at face value is not always the full picture and hidden powers are apt to influence for reasons unknown.

I won’t engage in the current debate on abortion here, to my mind it is simply too complex and there are simply too many unseen or unacknowledged factors at work. Realising the cost of gynaecological medical procedures on not just a woman’s body but also her soul and connection beyond the material world needs to be explored from a holistic and much deeper perspective than it currently has been.

The illusion of freedom is far more available than the reality of freedom.

The new Moon sabian symbol challenges us to realize THE RELATIVITY OF SOCIAL VALUES.

Social values are relative because the consciousness which attempts to spearhead them are subject to change. They are also subject to corruption, ego led impulses, desire for power, and a lack of heart based or soul flowing influence.

Much of the work of Carl Jung is concerned with the individuation process which involves an individual breaking from the group or common consensuses in order to realise and express his or her true self. In his personal descent and confrontation with the unconscious Jung refers to two powerful and often conflicting energies which he called ‘the spirit of the depths’ and ‘the spirit of the times’. If only influenced by the spirit of the times, we factor our life energy to external agents who may or may not be concerned with our wellbeing. The spirit of the depths then -of which I would say Hades is a part -is where we must turn our attentions in the pursuit of soul making or freeing ourselves from the cave. Being able to negotiate both polarities is advisable.

And yet so many of us for so long have placed our trust and faith in the social values of our time even while they often prove to be stitched from ineffective or flawed materials that tear and rip leaving an insubstantial societal fabric.

Many of the social values we have dutifully lived by have not been friendly to women or the feminine. Some call this patriarchy, and it is also noted that this system has not necessarily been friendly to men either, but patriarchy was never about men and women.

Anything to do with female sexuality and female reproduction is not only a loaded topic but is one of the most loaded and controversial topics known to us at this time in our human story. We need to ask why that is.

If we are too easily swayed by what media and culture present as positive and freedom enhancing advances, or correct moral opinion in our cultural history we miss the nuances of the deeper strata- the spirit of the depths.

Dare we enter Hades?

Hades is bordered by five rivers – the Styx, Lethe, Acheron, Phlegethon and Cocytus; these rivers can also be perceived by the living and are passages between the living and the dead. The river Lethe is the river of forgetfulness named after the goddess of oblivion and forgetfulness, Lethe. On drinking the water from the river, one completely forgets their past life and is prepared for reincarnation.

Reincarnation in a psychological sense is the repeating of old patterns, beliefs and attitudes that keep is trapped in a loop of semi consciousness, or with the shades, only half alive.

In psychological terms we might use the topography of the underworld to reference our cultural miasma where we easily forget the sins of the past. Social values encourage us not to ask too many questions, a reality that has taken deeper root in recent times with the censoring of information that does not accord with the dominant cultural narrative. Lilith asks the questions.

Lilith who has consciously chosen to stay outwith the bounds of social values and morality continues to communicate to us through channels that have not been hi-jacked by the socially conditioned mind. We feel her in our bodies; she urges us to stay as natural and as life filled (organic) as possible so that we may know her.

I have written about the medication and bio medicalisation of women’s bodies and the inherent dangers of this not only on a biological level but also on a soul level, and a bio mystical level (a term borrowed from John Lash).

The medicalisation of women’s bodies, sexuality, and reproduction is a shady stream; the history of gynaecology, a few layers down, is a chilling testament to a darkly misogynist past where it could be argued the roots still flourish.

The feminine divine and her archetypes is concerned with the liberation of the personal and eternal soul. She comes to us as Sophia, Lilith, Kali, Magdalene, Inanna. She is rising and her voice is getting louder. She travels between the Pleroma, Earth, and Hades. She is everywhere ever present in every atom and cell. She will walk with us to Hades and back.

On waking from our forgetfulness, we free ourselves from the liminal space between the living and the dead and are renewed… but first we must learn how to die to the false self before we can rise. I do not mean to imply that this is easy, believe me when I say I am finding my way, sometimes lost, sometimes found, sometimes asleep, sometimes awake… like so many of us. We need to remind each other.

The Orphic mysteries introduce the existence of another river, the Mnemosyne which allows full remembrance of one’s life. Followers of Orphism were buried with gold-leaved tablets providing instructions on how to travel through death and obtain omniscience. Consciousness through the death process is also part of Tibetan, Celtic, and Native American cosmology.

This is chance to break the patterns and free ourselves from karmic cycles.

The invitation is to wake up and remember the true nature of our sexuality and feminine essence, and to protect it from forces that would assign it to the underworld.

In part two of this blog, I explore masculine sexuality in light of the new moon.

 

Chiron goes retrograde- “What ails thee?”

The Fisher King by Leonora Carrington, 1961

The Fisher King by Leonora Carrington.

Yesterday I wrote about the Grail, about connecting with our uniqueness on our journey toward individuation or soul making. Our uniqueness is a blend of our gifts, talents, wounds, and woes…

Chiron teaches us to recognise that our wounds may also be our greatest gifts.

When Chiron goes retrograde- as it does from today until mid-December- our core wounds may be felt more acutely however the opportunity is to discover new ways to transform them.

Archetypally Chiron can be explored through the myth of the Fisher King from the Grail legends- while the king is wounded the land lays in waste; redemption comes when Parzival, the young knight finally has the nous to ask the question, “what ails thee”. Failing to ask this question prevents healing of the wounded King and the wasteland. Asking the question requires nothing less than absolute willingness to face the truth.

In terms of psychology asking ourselves that same question “what ails thee” is the key to our healing. Chiron asks us to face our deepest pain so that we might know it. Knowing it is not necessarily the same as healing it, rather Chiron encourages us to transmute the wound so that we are no longer disabled by it… and then claim it as a power.

Chiron teaches us to not only bear our cross but in doing so to help others to overcome their own afflictions by being a living light in the face of adversity. In this way Chiron as the Shaman archetype is often equated with Christ.

In the gospel of St. Luke, Jesus says,

“Whosoever does not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

In the Chiron journey of reclamation, we become our own hero or heroine. Once we have reclaimed ourselves, we let go of the people, situations, circumstances, limitations, and voices of contempt that rejected, disrespected, or tried to change us, and stand firm in the truth of who we are. Or we develop a new relationship with them.

I am available for astrology consultations to explore how Chiron operates in your chart/life.

The Royal Road & the Holy Grail… a post inspired by dreams.

Dante_Gabriel_Rossetti_-_The_Damsel_of_the_Sanct_Grael_(1874)

Dante Gabriel Rossetti – The Damsel of the Sanct Grael (1874)

Dreams said Freud are the royal road to the unconscious, while for Jung dreams- perhaps above all else- are the psyche’s way of communicating valuable information.

Our dreams are the bridge between the conscious and unconscious mind; our bridge is not the same as anyone else’s, it is the path to our very own Grail castle and offers the possibility of the elixir that will nourish our soul.

The way we can share this gift is by becoming the unique individual that we are meant to be.

Therapies, modalities, templates, theories, religions, and teachings that do not consider the individual soul can lead us only so far… at a certain point we are on our own.

Jung says “…anyone who attempts to do both, to adjust to his group and at the same time pursue his individual goal, becomes neurotic.”

It’s a fine balance. It has never been an easy path to be true to oneself and find a way of living in the world with integrity however now more than ever the world needs individuals who live by their unique soul’s code.

The journey of soul making is a subtle interplay of inner and outer conditions encompassing the irrational and the daimonic while appreciating the interconnectedness, or synchronicity, of seemingly unrelated events.

For Jung this is the process of individuation and for Mythologist Joseph Campbell it is the Hero’s Journey.

According to Russian mystic and spiritual teacher Gurdjieff, we are born only with the potential for a soul, it is not a guarantee that we will attain a soul- a fully articulated vehicle of consciousness connecting the body directly with the sources of its creation.

For Gurdjieff, developing a soul is very difficult and can only be brought to fruition directly within the conditions of our own life.

This is the Way of the Grail.

Consider that your uniqueness is a subtle tapestry woven from all your life circumstances, your inner disposition and sensitivities, the place you were born, the era and the family you were born into, as well as all of the encounters you have experienced …everything in fact that makes you you.

This is the prima materia of your soul.

When we accept that everything we have experienced up to this point has been necessary to create the individual soul that we are we can no longer be a victim.

Trusting and surrendering to this requires Faith.

Jung says the key is this: we must be able to let things happen in the psyche.

Paying attention to dreams is an excellent way of soul making.

Full Moon Magic- Magdalene Speaks.

Image- Me on pilgrimage in the Crypt of Abbaye Sainte-Marie-Madeleine de Vézelay where relics of Saint Mary Magdalene are housed.

Image- Me on pilgrimage in the crypt of Abbaye Sainte-Marie-Madeleine de Vézelay where relics of Saint Mary Magdalene are allegedly housed.

Teachings for our time- Magdalene as a bio mystical experience that opens the door to both receiving and transmitting information through the subtle bodies, or in other words, as a connector of the human and divine.

At a time when our physical bodies are potentially compromised by so many interferences, Magdalene- or the vibrational manifestation of Magdalene- encourages us to protect our physical body and build our light body (Merkabah) so that we do not become disconnected from Source.

She reminds us of the gnostic teachings- that the Kingdom of God is within.

At the point of the full moon asteroid Magdalena is conjunct the Galactic Centre at 26 ° Sagittarius. Symbolically, this could be seen as a time when Magdalene’s emanation is strong and available to the human sphere.

For the Maya, the Galactic Centre was the supreme godhead and ultimate creator which they named “Hunab Ku;” for them it was a portal to other galaxies and the consciousness that organizes all matter from a whirling disk into stars, planets, and solar systems. Burst of energy from the Galactic Centre- the cosmic womb- is the portal through which the creator orchestrates the unfolding of our galaxy.

As Mistress of the Waters, Magdalene offers a regenerative and restorative balm for the human soul.

Whether you believe Her to be one woman from the life of Jesus of Nazareth or representative of the priestess archetype, or indeed an archetype at the core of every human being, The Magdalene is calling us to wake up and claim our human divine nature.

Through the portal of her womb- the Holy Vessel- the vas uterus- she leads us to the eternal spring (or grail) by strengthening our connection to Spirit. Through her sacred oils, holy blood, and gnosis of the human body as Temple of the Soul, She awakens us to gnostic revelation- unmediated knowledge and direct experience of god.

Through sacred feminine gnosis- now mostly lost and suppressed along with other gnostic and “heretical” teachings- Magdalene offers the promise of liberation through awakening us into our true nature. As protectress of the lost teachings She points to where they may be found.

If Christ the Son is pointing to God the Father, Magdalene is pointing to Sophia, the Holy One within.

Magdalene’s Feast day is celebrated on July 22.

Amber, Monica… and Lilith

Image "LIlith" by hairofmedusa

Image “LIlith” by hairofmedusa

I should probably step away from the Depp/Heard courtroom drama…we probably all should.

As Monica Lewinsky says in her piece for Vanity Fair published yesterday,

“This is nothing more than courtroom porn.”

No stranger to slander and public derision herself, Lewinsky takes the opportunity to remind us of the collective implications inherent in such high-profile scandals.

“It’s the larger implications for our culture that concern me the most: the ways we have stoked the flames of misogyny and, separately, the celebrity circus.”

As an astrologer I cannot help looking to the astrological symbolism for deeper perspectives on people, relationships, and collective events.

Today (when the Western world awaits the verdict) the Sun is at 11 degrees of Gemini which happens to be the exact point of Amber Heard’s Black Moon Lilith (mean) and her Chiron, the Wounded Healer.

Black Moon Lilith can show feminine power and especially unacceptable feminine power; it also speaks of the rejection and punishment that can ensue as a result of that power.

If you don’t know the story of Lilith, I recommend you find out because one thing is for sure, she refuses to be silenced and continues to make her presence felt ever since being exiled by the patriarchal gods a few thousand years ago.

Continuing on the Lilith theme, Amber’s Black Moon Lilith (true), is closely conjunct her Venus at 25 degrees Taurus- again this speaks of the dark exiled feminine working in tandem as one entity with the goddess of love, value, money, and relationship. In Taurus money and resources are particularly highlighted… whose pockets are being lined?

In both instances, these signatures point to a hidden, rejected, feared and dare I say demonised feminine- demonised by a patriarchal consciousness that seeks to control whatever it fears… over and over and over again.

As if we need further convincing that Amber Heard is strongly involved with the Lilith archetype, her Dark Moon Lilith- the dark side of the Moon- is exactly conjunct her north node (her soul’s destiny) at 29 Degrees of Aries.

But what is her part in expressing the Lilith archetype?

That very much depends on which way the verdict goes though as anybody who has been even slightly following the case can see, vast waves of hatred and even death threats directed at Amber Heard far outweighs opposition to Johnny Depp… in fact “justice for Johnny” is the popular slogan on social media.

Lewinsky comments-

“I wasn’t surprised that the memes about Amber Heard far outnumbered those about Johnny Depp. I wasn’t surprised that the cruel and vitriolic discourse was predominantly aimed at the woman.”

Is history repeating itself?

Is the strong woman who speaks out still being exiled form the Garden and blamed for the sins of mankind- in short, is the woman who is not so accommodating and passive to patriarchal control and male expectations still playing the role of the scapegoat?

The Scapegoat is something Monica Lewinsky knows only too well; in 1989 her life was almost ruined in the aftermath of the Clinton scandal.

I have had Monica Lewinsky’s chart in my database for some time; her story is among those which I feel merit attention in considering women who suffer at the hands of misogyny in our culture.

Just like Amber Heard, Monica Lewinsky has a prominent Dark Moon Lilith exactly conjunct Chiron.

Chiron wounds are not entirely our own, while they are formed by our relationship with our environment and then what we make that mean in ourselves, the wounds have a collective component even though they are expressed through us. That is why there is an element of service or duty connected to Chiron- particularly once we pass our Chiron return and are able to help others overcome similar afflictions… it is right and timely that Lewinsky is speaking out on this case.

Orbiting between Saturn and Uranus Chiron takes us out of the individual and social spheres and into the collective. Chiron is in many ways connected to the scapegoat, the one who take a hit for the group, and who ultimately sacrifices his or her life. Through the sacrifice much is learned and healed.

But did we learn our lessons from Lewinsky’s plight?

A young and somewhat vulnerable woman who took the flack for her own indiscretions and that of the most powerful man in the United States at the time… to the point of almost ending her life.

Aren’t we here again… the powerful man leaving the scene of the crime untarnished while the Lilith-like woman, seducer and destroyer of men takes a metaphorical public stoning and is exiled from the Garden- in this case Hollywood?

Lewinsky’s north node (destiny) is conjunct Dejanira, an asteroid involved in victimisation.

It seems that for both Heard and Lewinsky their fates are bound in the ancient wound of the feminine that ceaselessly throughout time seeks to be healed and ceaselessly throughout time is reopened.

The salt that is rubbed in the wound takes on many guises, and we the “audience” collude.

As the woman who endured public humiliation and lived to tell the tale, Lewinsky says, “we are all guilty”.

To read the Monica Lewinsky published article in Vanity Fair click the link below.

If you would like to support me in researching and writing articles, blog posts, podcasts and other media around this and related subjects, stay tuned for my forthcoming Patreon account.

https://www.vanityfair.com/…/monica-lewinskys-verdict…

Rethinking Perimenopause and Menopause.

Image by artist Galen Dara

Image by artist Galen Dara

I notice lately a lot of posts about peri menopause and menopause- this is great! The once taboo conversation is now well underway.

Menopause and its emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual manifestations are finally coming out of the shadowy closet labelled “women’s issues”.

Women are having frank and open discussions about their experience of “the change” … and it is definitely a change.

As a woman on the threshold of menopause myself (perimenopausal) I am loving the journey. I know this comment might buck the trend toward talking about menopause as a difficult and for the most part negative experience however I am excited to also talk of the gifts of menopause.

Why do so many women suffer through menopause and opt for HRT?

I propose that the real issue is not with menopause itself- which is after all an entirely natural biological process – but with the trappings of a modern, science led consciousness that seeks mastery over nature.

Could part of the trouble be that in our current culture women have largely been denied a natural hormonal, biological, birthing, and womb experience?

From teenage years (and now even younger) to middle age and beyond the effects of artificial tampering with the hormonal cycle, birthing, reproduction, menstrual flow, contraception, and hormonal regulation has to be considered when accounting for the huge number of women suffering from gynaecological issues.

Secondly, our 24/7 “always on” society that prizes and praises a “can do”, “just get on with it” attitude above a body centred consciousness lacks a multi-dimensional perspective and is still trapped in a mind- body- spirit -split.

Denial and fear of an integrated and fully expressed feminine consciousness still holds sway in our collective beliefs and attitudes… and has a dark legacy.

With more women having children later in life and running careers and families while going through the menopause, it is no wonder that women are struggling.

I know some feminists will take offense at my over emphasis on female biology- according to second wave feminists the reason women were demoted to the rank of second-class citizenry was precisely due to their “inferior” biology- but realistically how feasible is it for women to continue to push on through while their bodies (and souls) are undergoing major transformation. Could this not also be a cause of menopausal suffering?

I am not quite there yet, as I say I am on the threshold and just getting used to perimenopause and already I cannot be bothered with the many demands and distractions of the world- there is a thinness, an insubstantiality that no longer grips me. I am less seduced by the world.

I want to tune in, go deeper, sit in silence when I need to, rest when I need to, dream and experience the visions and wisdom of my inner life. I want to experience my true nature.

I don’t want to miss this initiation…the transition into a more mature, more rooted version of myself.

Ultimately menopause is an important preparation for an even bigger transition- death… something else our culture apparently does not do well.

Toward Feminine Conscious Sexuality and Reproduction

Mato Ioannidou

Image by Mato Ioannidou

Are you a young woman who is considering your contraceptive options, or are you a mother of a young woman who is supporting your daughter in considering her options?

It can be a minefield, right?

Unwanted pregnancy has profound consequences for the body, mind, and soul, and we try to avoid it all costs.

According to a government health report, 31% of women experience severe reproductive health issues – that was 4 years ago.

This figure does not include mild and moderate issues.

The truth is that a vast number of women are suffering from “women’s issues,” the biological stats I suspect are downplayed while the emotional, mental, and spiritual costs are rarely if ever discussed.

Around 55,000 hysterectomy operations are carried out in the UK each year. This means about one in five women will have a hysterectomy at some point. The most common age to have one is between 40-50, however they are often carried out on women outside of this age group.

Approximately 600,000 hysterectomies are performed annually in the U.S. where approximately 20 million women have had a hysterectomy. This makes hysterectomies one of the most common surgeries performed in the U.S.

I suspect in both cases the figures are now higher.

How does menstrual suppression medication tie into this?

The short answer is I do not know because although I have conducted some study in this area, I am not medically trained and a lot of my thoughts on this and other subjects related to female health are born from a deep intuition and calling to speak out… because something does not feel right!

I am hearing more and more stories about how young women are affected by these medications. Yesterday I was talking to a couple of women, one of whom was describing the adverse side- effects of the contraceptive implant on her teenage daughter; these ranged from serious change in mood; sensitivities to a large number of sensory stimuli, foods, and chemicals (this could imply impaired immunity).

The young woman felt desperate and asked to have the implant removed; she was met with hostility and a patronising pep talk from the health care practitioner. In short it was a fight to have it removed.

Incidentally both women (who I was talking with) had previously had a hysterectomy… one was a coupe of years older, and one was a couple of years younger than me.

NEXPLANON one of the market leaders in contraceptive implants is manufactured by Merck- the same drug company that produces the HPV vaccine Gardasil… another highly controversial drug.

In 2017 Merck made over $40 billion in revenues.

The point of this post?

Female reproduction; female sexuality; female bodies; female psycho-spiritual, and psycho- sexual experiences, and the increasing bio-medicalisation of women’s bodies are deeply critical issues for our time and carry consequences way beyond what many of us are led to believe.

It is so important that these and other factors related to female sexuality and reproduction are considered from a holistic and feminine conscious perspective.

Invoking The Goddess of the Moon: Scorpio Full Moon Lunar Eclipse: (intuitive download)

Painting "Salammbo" by Gaston Bussiere 1907

Painting “Salammbo” by Gaston Bussiere 1907

Now is not the time the time to override your deepest intuition and knowing.

Do you feel that you simply cannot tolerate a circumstance, dynamic, life course, or way of being any longer?

You are not alone and now is the time to surrender.

This may feel scary… radical self honesty and placing our deepest knowing and intuition above and beyond everything else will undoubtedly initiate life changing situations… even leaving us feeling alone and outside the comfort of the well-travelled and “certain” path.

There may be no certain path ahead right now. That is Ok. You may make mistakes. That is Ok too.

Don’t play dead. Don’t play safe. Your soul’s freedom is worth more than your compliance, safety and need to be accepted, loved, or liked. What is your truth. I mean really- what is your truth. Can you honour it now?

Instead of bypassing or avoiding certain people or situations to keep the peace or refrain from rocking the boat, let it all play out… watch… feel… trust…The truth of the situation will be revealed if you let it (this is what eclipses do best).

Where have you been cheating yourself? Can you still afford to make compromises that hurt your soul and betray the inner core of who you are?

Do you feel the need to apologize for being you?

Let it go.

Stand-alone if you have to.

Are you not fed-up appeasing, pleasing, adapting, and accommodating?

When do you put yourself first?

When do you trust yourself?

Are you fed up staying in situations where you are constantly trying to negotiate and explain yourself? Why stay where you know you are compromising and diluting the glorious truth of your being?

Stand behind, beside, and before yourself.

Fly your flag even if in a quiet and unassuming but determined way.

Don’t make others wrong. They are where they are and they also on their unique soul journey. If they could meet you, they would. With love and compassion let go of what needs to be let go of. Find a way to maintain what needs to be maintained in an authentic and true way. Is that possible?

Now is not the time to be tied to social convention and expectations.

Where have you playing small. What of those parts you have tried to hide, the great and the hideous? Bring them out. Invite them in.

This eclipse is a portal. What are you choosing? It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, this way or that way, but you have to acknowledge your truth at least to yourself. If others cannot hear it, so be it. You no longer have to explain.

Can you feel this?

Take a deep breath and choose yourself.

The Wounds of Love

Johhny Depp and Amber Heard

Johhny Depp and Amber Heard

Rarely do I get involved in big media stories, sensationalist cases, or political pantomimes. Why? Because mostly I feel mass media is rigged… behind the curtain, levers are being pulled and wheels are steered by political and media wizards… not to mention the enchantment that is Hollywood.

For the most part media consumers – us- are influenced (subconsciously) by trickery, illusion, psychology, subliminal messages… some may say this adds up to sophisticated social engineering.

In the past week or so though I have become interested in the Amber and Johnny case and confess to watching the televised courtroom drama.

When I look at this man and this woman, I do not see a victim and perpetrator- at least not of each other- I see two wounded people looking for what nearly everybody else is looking for- love. Much of the debate centres around which one of them is the real abuser; the most intimate details of their personal life spotlighted for the world to see.

How the outcome is determined will no doubt have an impact on our perceptions and beliefs around domestic violence (DV).

Is his alleged coercive and controlling behaviour less abusive that hers? She has admitted to “hitting” but not punching him- this was recorded on Mr. Depp’s phone. And what of the bottle incident- did he molest her, or did she assault him… how did he lose his fingertip?

What of the fake blood, the faecal matter, the missing money? It’s the stuff of Hollywood for sure.

But in the end does it matter. Is it not time we woke up to the grim reality that many, many people are in toxic and abusive relationships and that Amber and Johnny are not alone in their suffering? It’s just that their relationship is more public and there are external players who have vested interest in the outcome.

There is also a strong case to say that men and women fare differently within the social and legal systems… that’s all part of the set-up.

I can’t help feeling that Amber and Johnny are actors on a much larger stage more complex and insidious than we imagine.

The human race it seems are beset by unhealed trauma, emotional wounding, and injuries to the soul. Our need for love and the wounds of love makes us vulnerable to manipulation and coercion not necessarily from our significant other or our lovers but from an illusion of love that promises what it cannot deliver… because the root has not been tended.

We’ve heard it many times, it has become something of a new age mantra, that love begins within, and I believe that is true, but it is also through the other and our growing capacity to give and receive love that the roots are watered.

I am learning about love, and I forgive myself for the ways I was not able to give or receive love before. I also forgive others for this too.

Today as I walked around a store, the radio blared out one achy breaky heart song after another, many of these songs have been played on a loop for years… decades even. And the new ones, well, they don’t sound much different; the basic premise is always the same… love feels amazing until it hurts like hell.

We spend an awful lot of time and energy on matters of love… and mostly dysfunctional love. Why? Because so often we cannot face the truth of ourselves far less the truth of another… or even the truth of life.

Once the Disney shine of projection has faded, and after the surface layers have been penetrated, unprocessed trauma and attachment injuries are revealed, and we are left with the wounds of love.

What does it really mean to love and to be loved, and why do so many of us struggle to experience true and enduring love?

Today I found a quote by Publilius Syrus who said-

“The wounds of love can only be healed by the one who made them”.

Interesting though I am not sure I agree, for who made the wounds of love. Where did they originate? They did not begin with the heart broken by the lover… the wounds are deeper by far; they were there all along waiting to be unlocked and revealed by the lover.

Astrology is an excellent lens through which to view our soul’s blueprint and consider how we are affected by others, particularly in our intimate connections. The synastry chart points to the potential places and spaces we may experience in entering relationship with another soul, it speaks of possible sore points, conflicts, harmonies, longevity, uses and abuses. There are red flags and green lights… timing has a lot of influence too.

Of course, an astrology chart is a symbolic take, not the literal experience but when we accept that in working with archetypal energy and unconscious forces, we recognise that people we meet along the way are guiding us toward our Self, not necessarily through the happy ever after, sometimes it is through the fires of hell.

I am looking at the synastry chart of Amber and Johnny which is revealing many interesting aspects and signatures; I am writing more about that.

I am also writing about the full moon lunar eclipse in terms of relationship, the wounds of love, and the shifts I perceive are occurring. This is all part of a series of work on Eros & Psyche that I initiated a few months ago.

If you are interested in working with me, I offer astrology sessions including synastry charts where I can focus on the points above, or any other aspect of your chart. You are also welcome to join me for part 2 of the Eros & Psyche series, details to follow shortly.