When Venus transits the South node, it may be a time when a relationship ends however it could also be that expectations around relationships more generally are reviewed. I have this transit happening now and for myself, I recognise that it is not so much about letting go of a particular relationship but an outmoded attachment style.
When I consider the early conditioning that I received around intimate partnering I see that there were a lot of unhealthy factors involved- my role models were not particularly relationship conscious, not only in my family but also in my community and in the wider collective… all those co-dependent pop songs! Dysfunctional messages about what a relationship is, how it should operate, the role of women, the role of men, and most insidiously of all the privacy, silence and ‘behind closed doors’ attitude that prevailed made for one hell of a toxic soup.
These days my journey to liberate myself from negative programming is releasing the need to engage in unhealthy situations. What strikes me is how limiting relationships can be when the people involved act out of their unhealed trauma, or shadow. Although I also recognize that personal growth can come from experiencing these kinds of relationships or ‘woundships,’ and that even ‘bad’ or toxic relationships can be a pathway to liberation and awakening when we cultivate enough self value and self-love… to let them go!
Our relationship patterns run deep and becoming more informed about attachment styles, trauma bonds, and co-dependency allows for the potential to move away from destructive or limiting situations. As this happens, we might also find that so much of our lives are entwined with these patterns, for example we stay in abusive situations because our financial security is bound in it, or else the relationship supports our victim story, or reinforces false beliefs connected to our self-esteem and self-value.
Early family dynamics that are not made conscious will repeat ad infinitum in our adult relationships.
These formative experiences when left unacknowledged seep into our intimate partnerships, friendships, work situations, and in fact all inter-personal relationships because the common denominator is us, and that is where the transformation needs to happen. There are a lot of podcasts, books, talks, seminars, and general information about narcissistic, and abusive relationships and while it is good that the ‘behind closed doors’ mentally is breaking down there is also a danger of continuing to project our inner wounding onto those we perceive as having hurt us. They may well have hurt us however the continued projection keeps us in a victim stance and denies the possibility for true inner work.
As Venus transits my south node, I am letting go of old and entrenched patterns and beliefs about myself and myself in relationship, not just in intimate partnership but with the world and its systems… and dare I say illusions. So much of what I consumed was not of my truth, and I allowed myself- because I did not have the necessary tools, or self gnosis- to participate in toxic and self-defeating situations.
Any planets in aspect to Venus as she transits the south node will give a fuller picture of what is being let go of. For example, Venus is currently in a trine aspect with my Mars Chiron conjunction. This speaks directly to an inner shift where I am changing my relationship with the wounded (Chiron) masculine (Mars) so that the wounded masculine becomes the healthy masculine – an ally not an enemy. This transmutation is facilitated by Chiron and the Chiron return through which I have just moved; it is an inner change where I am developing a new relationship with my animus or inner man, and the shift is also reflected in my outer relationships with men.
In forming a new relationship with the masculine principle, it is not only my partnerships that are transformed but also my relationship with work, money, commitment, focus, boundaries, assertiveness, strength, courage, and other qualities that while are not exclusively masculine are expressed in a particular way through the masculine. In connecting with these things in myself I do not have to assign them to the men in my life and then get annoyed when they fall short… which inevitably, if the relationship with my inner man is unbalanced, they will.
That said I value and cherish the potential for beautiful union where each partner is committed to owning themselves and taking responsibility for their own soul.